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 Lets all tell jokes

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mckendry
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PostSubject: Lets all tell jokes   2nd December 2006, 05:22

* What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet arranged alphabetically?

Well sorted.


* What do you call a chav in a fridge?

Chilled.


* What do you call a chav in an elevator?

Raised


* What do you call a chav in a freezer?

Solid.


* What do you call a chav in a box?

Innit.


* What do you call a chav in a locked box?

Safe, innit.


* What do you call a chav in a blender?

Mush.


* What do you call a dead chav?

Result.

* What do you call a Chav in a white shell suit?

The Bride.


* What do you call a Chav who helps an old lady across the road?

Nice one.


* What do you call a Chav who pushes an old lady under a bus?

Wicked.

* What do you call a chav with 9 GCSEs?

A liar.


* What do you call a 30-year-old chavette?

Granny.


* What do you call a chav at college?

The cleaner.


* What do you call a chav with a knife wound?

Gutted.

* What do you call a chav on fire?

Blazin'.
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shotgunxwedding
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   2nd December 2006, 11:56

what do you call someone who tells crappy chav jokes?

PWNED!
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   2nd December 2006, 19:08

Just because yr a whiney emo kid whos' far too cool to smile doesn't mean that other people might not enjoy it.

Granted its not quite Bailey-esque just yet but some of them did make me smile (kinda).
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   2nd December 2006, 19:41

The rest of Brendan wrote:
Just because yr a whiney emo kid whos' far too cool to smile doesn't mean that other people might not enjoy it.

Granted its not quite Bailey-esque just yet but some of them did make me smile (kinda).

yeah, i never smile or laugh or have a sense of humour. i just sit in a corner all day with a knife & eyeliner.
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   3rd December 2006, 04:08

What do you call someone who always hangs around with musicians?!?!

A drummer.

sorry to any drummers!

How do you know when a singer is at your door?

They don't know when to come in.
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mckendry
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   3rd December 2006, 12:47

What has 4 eyes, 4 limbs and draws blood?
An emo
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   4th December 2006, 16:14

A man walks into a library and decides to take out a book about suicides.

Man: Can I take out this book please?

Librarian: No.

Man: Why not?

Librarian: You won't bring it back.


Shite joke lol.
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mckendry
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   5th December 2006, 06:02

it made me laugh lol
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meekinjr
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   3rd January 2007, 16:30

A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm

farmer: "you see this? this is the pig i have to f*** when you not up for it"

farmers wife: "i think you'll find thats a sheep"

farmer: "i think you'll find that i was talking to the sheep"!

BADOOM TISH!!! im cracking the funnies now! wooooop! lol
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   3rd January 2007, 16:33

Haha good one.


Last edited by on 3rd January 2007, 17:08; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   3rd January 2007, 17:03

i aim to please!
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mckendry
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   4th January 2007, 12:53

lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   5th January 2007, 13:15

You're so stupid, your mother told you to go buy a color television and you asked, “What color?”
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   6th January 2007, 04:33

Laughing
Why is John Prescott like an IKEA flat pack?
Two screws in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   6th January 2007, 12:21

lol!
Yo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   6th January 2007, 13:50

haha Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   6th January 2007, 15:24

Yo' mama so nasty, I asked what was for dinner and she spread her legs and said "Crabs!"
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   7th January 2007, 07:18

lmao
deary me lasso
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   7th January 2007, 15:56

im sorry, ill stop for now. howay everyone else! i cant be the only one with jokes!
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mckendry
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   8th January 2007, 13:01

brand is a god however so is mr molko
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   13th January 2007, 17:59

Bad joke that someone told me:

What can reunite the Beatles?

2 bullets

(or one if you believe the Paul McCartney/Billy Shears conspiracy)
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mckendry
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   14th January 2007, 12:42

What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and James Brown?
Alex Ferguson will be playing Giggs after Christmas.

I saw some Saddam shirts on eBay. They're a bit tight around the neck, but they hang well.

A 6th body has been found in Ipswich, face down in a field. She had Frosties up her fanny and a spoon hanging out of her arse...
Fucking cereal killers!

Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   14th January 2007, 14:04

Pippa wrote:
Bad joke that someone told me:

What can reunite the Beatles?

2 bullets

(or one if you believe the Paul McCartney/Billy Shears conspiracy)

amy doesnt get it Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   14th January 2007, 16:11

meekinjr wrote:
Pippa wrote:
Bad joke that someone told me:

What can reunite the Beatles?

2 bullets

(or one if you believe the Paul McCartney/Billy Shears conspiracy)

amy doesnt get it Sad

If you kill Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney (2 surviving Beatles) all the Beatles would be dead. And if there was some kind of afterlife they would all be together again.

And the Paul McCartney conspiracy thing- there is just a rumour that Paul McCartney died on 8th November 1966 and he was replaced by a guy called William "Billy Shears" Campbell who won a Paul McCartney lookalike competition.
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PostSubject: Re: Lets all tell jokes   14th January 2007, 23:35

Heard that before but in relation to elvis. Watch Bubba Ho'tep and all will be explained.

No seriously. Bubba Ho'tep is an amazing film. Bruce Campbell as Elvis. In a retiremant home with a black JFK (who wasn't actually assasinated). Fighting a red neck mummy. What more could you want.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oG_-SMdG4s
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